With or without you
by AllTimeNatalie
Summary: They left me to fend for myself. They didn't want to but had to and now I'm getting them back dead or alive.
1. Where d'ya go?

**DISCLAIMER:** I own no rights to Cirque du freak.

**A/N:** There is a death in a chapter. Sorry but wait until the later chapters and you will see why.

This is pretending that Murlough didn't die.

Thanks to RoxxiSanders, my beta.

**TITLE:** With or without you

**SUMMARY:** Darren wakes up one morning to find Mr Crepsley and Evra gone and he is all alone. Realising he has to go and find them before it's too late, he sets out to find them, meeting some people who can change his destiny along the way. Will he find them before it's too late and run his life as normal?

**~CiRqUe Du FrEaK ~**

Chapter 1- Where d'ya go?

"Monsieur Crepslaaay! Good morning." There was a long silence when Evra walked into Crepsley's tent. "I was wondering if you and Darren were gonna be in the show next week. Crepsley?" He knocked on the coffin lid just as a booming voice rippled out of it.

"Never call me 'Monsieur Crepsley' again, I thought keeping quiet would make you go away but it clearly failed. So, did you want something?"

"Actually, it was Crepslaaay and umm…I was wondering if you, Darren and Octa were in the show next week." Crepsley lifted the lid and looked at him with an exasperated expression on his face.

"Yes well…we are participating in the show. Now go and do your chores I have to sleep…Darren has lessons tonight." Evra pouted and wandered out of the tent, leaving Crepsley to rest for the following night. He then proceeded to knock on the door of Truska's tent and entered not long after.

"Evra can I help you in some way?" Her voice was quieter than usual and Evra raised an eyebrow. "I have a croaky throat so I will let you do the talking." She chuckled and sat down on a chest containing clothes, listened carefully to whatever Evra had to say.

"Well, I'm a little sick of these clothes so I was wondering if you had anything else, maybe more 'snake-ified'? Nothing too much just something like a t-shirt with a snake on it or a pair of jeans or something?"

She smiled then stood up and opened the chest she had been sat on. Pulling out a pair of darkened jeans, a shirt with green pinstripes on it and an old black blazer jacket with a snake emblazoned on the pocket, she handed the clothes to Evra. He tried them on then offered her a hug in thanks. He then waltzed into his and Darren's tent and grinned at him.

"Well, ya like?" Darren laughed and gave a thumbs up in return.

"That reminded me of something someone had once said to me. It was Murlough; he had asked me that night at the theatre, 'Does Murlough have talent?' When I had said nothing, he had said, 'No? Whaddya know about talent?' Darren tried to do his best impression of Murlough's voice but failed. "Ya like?" He said laughing afterwards.

"You sounded nothing like him." Evra's voice was sarcastic and mocking but Darren just pouted and flopped onto the bed behind him.

"I wasn't that bad. I thought I was quite good." He grumbled before standing up and checking whether it was dark outside yet. "I'm gonna go and wake Crepsley and tell him you're bullying me." Evra knew he was joking so thought nothing of it.

"No, don't set the big bad vampire on me!" He said, pretending to be scared and fake running to the door of the tent.

"Nope, you've done it now. Too late for apologies Evra…too late. He'll hunt you down and drink your blood you know."

"Dude, I'm a serpent so my blood would kill him. Hence 'Serpentine'." Suddenly there was another voice joining the conversation.

"Kill who, Mr Von?" Evra and Darren swivelled round to see Mr Crepsley stood behind them.

"Murlough! Not you…totally not you Mr C." Darren agreed and smiled sweetly at the towering Vampire. He didn't appreciate smiled but as far as they were concerned a smile was a smile.

"Right of course." His voice was unconvinced but he turned to face Darren anyway. "Come now Darren, we have work to do and not much time left."

Darren said goodnight to Evra then followed Crepsley to the woods for his lessons. He wasn't really in the mood but had to have a lesson tonight as Crepsley had let him off the past four nights. The bad thing was that his lessons were so boring now, yes they had been cool at the start but now he had learned almost everything he needed to know and was a little tired of it.

"Are you ready now? Today's study is exhaling the gas that we use when feeding. This way you can feed by yourself and I will not have to baby you anymore." Darren's ears pricked up when he heard it and he got a rush of excitement. He had wanted to learn this from the start but never had the chance to. Crepsley had always said that he was not yet ready but now he finally was. The lesson was long and hard but worth it, even though they only got back at dawn.

Darren clambered into his bed and pulled the covers to his neck before drifting off into a blissful sleep. Darren woke early in the morning and sat up in his coffin. He noticed that Evra wasn't snoring so looked over to his bed and gasped, he was gone! He scrambled over to his bed and searched for any trace of the snake boy but there was no luck. Next he rushed into Crepsley's room and threw up the lid of the coffin to find it empty. Gasping in horror he searched the whole of the tent for the vampire. It was daylight so he should've been asleep in his wooden coffin right? Where else could he go in daylight? Clearly this was not the case and Darren started to panic as questions raced through his mind. Where are they? Are they ok? Are they…**DEAD**?

Rushing across to Mr Tall's tent, he pushed his way in and looked up at the taller man. "Mr Tall, do you know where Crepsley and Evra are?" Darren's voice was strained and worried but Mr Tall just sat down with a glass of wine and sighed.

"No Darren, I am afraid that I have no idea…I was just going to ask you." Suddenly, something flashed through Darren's mind–Murlough! He could have taken them whilst he was sleeping but where would he have taken them to?

"Mr Tall, is there anywhere…anywhere at all…that Murlough could've taken them? He has to have done this." Darren's mind was all muddled up and he didn't know what to think anymore, what to believe. People were saying different things about the disappearances as news had already spread like wildfire across the Cirque, and every scenario was different but Darren only believed one. That was that Murlough had taken them back to the tunnels…the tunnels from a long time ago. He had to have done, he even told Darren that he loved them and now he was returning to them it was obvious…so obvious and Darren couldn't believe that he had let it happen. He knew it would happen and now he had to go and put it right because he had left it too late and he could hardly just say sorry you're dead but what the hell no hard feelings to his friends. He packed a bag and set off for the tunnels.

**~CiRqUe Du FrEaK ~**

**A/N: **Thanks for reading. Please leave me a review and let me know what you thought. Next chapter will be up soon.


	2. Forbidden love

DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to Cirque du freak.

A/N: There is a death in a chapter. Sorry but wait until the later chapters and you will see why.

TITLE: With or without you

SUMMARY: Darren wakes up one morning to find Mr Crepsley and Evra gone and he is all alone. Realising he has to go and find them before it's too late, he sets out all alone, meeting some people who can change his destiny along the way. Will he find them before it's too late and run his life as normal?

~CiRqUe Du FrEaK ~

Chapter 2- **Forbidden love**

Darren opened his deep blue eyes and glanced over to the bag that was on the floor. Stretching and yawning, he got out of bed and waltzed over to the sturdy, wooden wardrobe at the end of the tent. Dragging out some clothes, he put them on and grabbed the bag that was opposite his bed. A little time had passed and Darren was already a mile away from the Cirque. He was walking quickly so he didn't have to flit a long distance. He had been walking for about an hour when he bumped into a girl about his age. Her skin was a deadly white colour and she had deep purple eyes. Her hair was black and touched her lower back. She was the most beautiful girl Darren had ever seen and since he could never see Debbie again, it seemed ok to date other people. Surely she would be so why couldn't he?

"Hey, I-I'm Darren. I'm trying to find my way to the sewers and I was wondering if you know where I should go." She looked up at Darren, her purple eyes glistening in the mid-day sun.

"Hi, I'm Ophelia Larten. I suppose I can show you the way but what do you wanna go for?" Darren laughed quietly and looked up at her serious face.

"I have a friend called Larten so I just sort a couldn't help laughing because it's your last name so…" Darren trailed off and ended with a mumble. The pair carried on talking about themselves and Darren explained why he had to find them.

"So are you Darren Shan?" Darren nodded and Ophelia gazed down at her feet before adding to her question. "I've heard of you before, from an… acquaintance." When she said acquaintance it wasn't quite what Darren thought she meant. "So, what's it like at the cirque?" Darren's face turned confused as he thought it over. How did she know about the cirque and how did she know about him?

"It, it's cool yeah but I get tired of it sometimes. I like to travel and see different places so… ya know." She nodded and stepped in front of him so he could walk no further. She could see it was turning dark so placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I know what you are Darren Shan but I don't fear you. Come, feed with me I know a farm near by were you can drink." Darren thought she was a half-vampire but clearly he thought wrong. She lead him to a near by barn and hid round the corner. When the farmer walked past she pushed Darren towards him so that he could exhale the gas and knock him out. After the two had fed, they sat on the roof of the barn beneath the moon and stared at the stars.

"So are you a vampire?" Darren said looking at Ophelia who was fiddling with a weather vane.

"Yeah kinda, sort of but you wouldn't understand. Darren, do you believe in destiny?" Ophelia gazed into Darren's eyes as he finally offered an answer.

"Umm that's a tough question Ophelia. I believe that we all have a plan, a plan for our life time and we can't change it." She simply sighed and threw the weather vane into a near by bush. "Why do you ask? Have you met Mr Tiny yet?" Ophelia nodded and stood up, balancing herself with her arms.

"Yeah, I've met Tiny, a little strange if you ask me and fat. I ask because I'm not sure what my destiny is. Desmond told me that I had one but never explained what it was." Darren realised it was late and that he should probably be finding Evra and Crepsley so he slid down the barn and caught Ophelia when she fell.

"So, can you take me? Race ya." She giggled sweetly and placed a hand on Darren's shoulder.

"I can take you but if you overtake me then you'll get lost so that gives you a reason to stay behind me. Hence it not being much of a race." Darren had already started off in front of her.

"You can shout the directions." He shouted as he watched her flit in front of him. "Hey, you cheated!" She paused for breath then chuckled and replied to his childish remark.

"Don't be such a baby! You never said that you couldn't flit! She flitted again and by daylight they were there. Realising how tired they were, that stopped to rest in a near by tunnel in the sewers. "It's not exactly 5 stars but it'll do." She said gasping for air.

"It'll have to, come on we have to find Ev… I have to find my torch." She rolled her eyes and took Darren's hands.

"Darren, I know you're lying. We aren't here to find your torch like you told me before. So tell me why we're hear now!" Her voice was insistent and she squeezed his hands harder. "Tell me Darren, you can trust me and I can trust you." He knew this but didn't want to tell her because she would want to come with him "Darren, tell me!" Her voice was louder and angrier. He knew he would have to tell her but also knew that he couldn't.

"I… uh… I'm looking for my friends. They were taken from me when I was asleep and I'm not even sure if they are here." His voice broke and he punched the side of the tunnel in anger, cutting his knuckles in the process.

"Let me…" She was cut off by Darren's hurt tone of voice.

"I don't want you to heal my knuckles, I can do it myself but…but I wanna feel the pain for once. I'm sorry, I just miss them. It hurts ya know… more and more everyday." She slid an arm around Darren and squeezed him closer. She wasn't going to lie but she could make reality less painful for him and help him feel better.

"Darren, it isn't easy no but… but you don't have to suffer for them ya know. They're still alive, I can feel it and I am going to help you find them but you have to let me in Darren and stop hiding the truth from me. Tell me, who's missing?" Darren couldn't bring himself to say and he didn't want her to go with him. Loosing two dear friends in one day was hard enough without loosing the one person he thought he was falling for.

"I can't, I can't let you go with me Ophelia." Her face was fuming and she pushed Darren against the wall and held him there.

"Darren, I'm a lot stronger than you think and I can do this. Let me know and I can help you but if you keep shutting me out I can do sod all." Darren nodded and released her grip and sat her down beside him on a small pipe.

"Evra and Crepsley, they're missing and I'm afraid we might be too late." Her face fell and she growled out some words.

"Larten Crepsley?" Darren nodded and backed away from her. "Larten Crepsley?" She seemed to be in a trance until she came out of character. "Oh, ha-ha, let's go find them." They walked into the darkness of the tunnel holding hands. Not because of their feelings but because they were petrified. "Darren wait, I have a favour to ask you." Darren stopped and looked at her, they were at the verge of darkness and while it was still light, she wanted to get it all out in the open.

"Can I kiss you?" Her voice was quiet and if not for his vampire hearing, he would've missed it. "Well?" He nodded and leaned in to kiss her, pecking her lips he pulled away and blushed. "Hey, I asked you! I was meant to make the first move, boys!" She moaned and clung on to Darren's hand. Finally, this is what he had wanted from the start and now he had it, he would never give it up. He had wanted her to feel this way from the start and what was best was that they had no secrets. A cry of pain came from the darkness and the pair made their way into the tunnels, knowing that may never return…

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

A/N: So there you go, please R&R to tell me what you thought.


	3. With you, without you

DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to Cirque du freak.

A/N: There is a death in a chapter. Sorry but wait until the later chapters and you will see why. This chapter is in Darren's point of view.

TITLE: With or without you

SUMMARY: Darren wakes up one morning to find Mr Crepsley and Evra gone and he is all alone. Realising he has to go and find them before it's too late, he sets out all alone, meeting some people who can change his destiny along the way. Will he find them before it's too late and run his life as normal?

~CiRqUe Du FrEaK ~

Chapter three- With you, without you

I was feeling rather happy now, I had just kissed someone and it felt good. Then I remembered why I was really here, my real intensions and all feelings of happiness seemed to drift away. I knew that there was always a chance that I'd be too late but that was a chance I would have to deal with when I found them, if I found them. I was still holding Ophelia's hand in mine and I squeezed it tightly when we were engulfed in darkness. I was scared yes, there was no other way to describe it no other verb I could use to distinguish my feelings. She stopped and pulled me back before turning to face me.

"Be careful here okay?" I nodded silently and continued to walk. A knot was forming in my throat which stopped me from speaking; maybe it was because of my feelings or because of the faint yet noticeable smell of blood. I pondered for a few minutes whose it was and then focused on the tunnels. She seemed to know where she was going a little too well which freaked me out. I couldn't understand why she would come down here; surely it wasn't so that she could practise her badminton skills. Finally I plucked up the courage to blurt out a few words.

"Wuh-where are we going?" She turned to face me and answered my question.

"I couldn't tell you if I wanted to." She knew what I was but I was still un-certain of what she was. Yet I still felt as though I could trust her and I thought I was a little in love with her. "Just… well just… shh," I understood and kept quiet until we finally came to a grid. Not much light shone through but against the darkness of the tunnels it seemed as though I was looking at the sun. I could hear a distant mumbling and asked her what it was.

"I dunno. I…I've never heard it before, maybe we should follow it." Agreeing, I stayed close to her. Not so I could defend her but because I was practically crapping myself I was so scared. The smell of blood was thicker and I was almost choking on the toxic fumes. Strangely though, Ophelia seemed to be fine unaffected by it in fact.

"How can you not be choking in here? It's thick with blood!" I coughed out. I won't lie, it was difficult to do but I managed it just about. There was another grid up ahead that let out some of the bloody air. I noticed a couple of figures up a head… a green outline. EVRA! It had to be, the other figure must have been Crepsley because I recognised the red suit. He usually wears the suit to a special occasion so maybe he was going on a date. I chuckled at the thought of Mr Crepsley on a date; it was unimaginable seen as he saw life as 'deeply depressing'. I shuffled a little closer and pressed myself against the wall. Clearly they weren't alone because then they would shout to me because they had already seen me but they didn't. Instead thy just hung there upside down, blood rushing to their heads. Ophelia was behind me now with her hand on my shoulder. She kept it there so that I couldn't do anything stupid like run out to them when there was someone there.

"Stay here Ophelia." I told her quietly, it was hard for her to hear me but I think she heard because she nodded and leaned against the wall. I started to edge closer to their hanging bodies until another figure came into vision. He looked at me and before I knew it was eye to eye with…Murlough.

"Look, little vampire, Murlough is hungry you know. Should I have vampire or snake broth?" I stared at him with an evil glare and lowered my voice so it was at its menacing tone.

"You wouldn't!" He grinned and manoeuvred himself so my eyes were glued to him.

"I would." He snarled at me, then backed away and turned so I was looking at the back of his head.

"Their blood is poisonous to you though, so you can't…" Murlough turned around and pointed at me.

"Look, little vampire acting big. I never said I would drink their blood I said I would like stew made out of them. Not necessarily using blood as an ingredient. Young Murlough has brains, yes he does." I went to scowl at him but his attention turned to something else. "Ophelia?" She stepped out into the dim light and frowned.

"What the heck are you doing here?" I was confused for a moment and then it all made sense.

"Ophelia," I beckoned her into the darkness again. "You're eyes, they aren't contacts are they?" She shook her head as I bit my lip. "You…you're a vam…vampan…" I couldn't bring myself to finish the word. Instead I just stayed quiet and leaned against the cold surface of the tunnel wall. Tears were welling up in my eyes but I blinked them back and stood up straight. "I don't care." I finally got the courage to break the long silence. "I don't care what you are, I don't care if you're a Vampaneze but I care that you didn't tell me at the start." She took my hands and smiled.

"I couldn't tell you, I wanted to but I couldn't. Darren, I don't care that you're a vampire okay and even though I'm one of them, I still care about you." I nodded and kissed her forehead before turning to face Murlough. His mouth was gaping open and Mr Crepsley finally spoke up.

"What is that Darren?" I didn't know how to answer him. He wouldn't accept her for what she was and she whispered straight into my ear so he couldn't hear what she was.

"It…it's a girl, called Ophelia." He rolled his eyes and then noticed the gleaming purple in hers and the strengthened nails.

"For goodness sake, close your mouth Murlough it is embarrassing to leave it open. I do not want to see what you had for your dinner. She will break your heart, do not believe her or anything she says she is one of them. Darren, you cannot see her anymore I will not let you. For your own safety you have to…" He was cut off by a slightly emotional Ophelia who swivelled me round to face her.

"Darren, I'm a monster okay and I wish I wasn't but he's right. You can't see me any more not now; it's too late for us Darren Shan." She turned to walk away and soon had disappeared into the darkness. My heart sank as I stepped up to the tied up vampire.

"I hate you. I really hate you for what you have done. You're the worst thing that happened to me Crepsley and I will never forgive you. I loved her Larten and you took that away from me! I wouldn't care if you died right now." I screamed at the vampire and he frowned at me. He went to speak but he was cut off by Murlough who looked a little psychotic now.

"Good, no worries then." With that Murlough stabbed Mr Crepsley right in the heart. He untied his body as it fell to the floor in a heap. Tears started to stream down my face and my eyes turned blood red. I had caused the death of my own mentor, my friend. I hadn't meant the things I said I was just mad. How could I ever forgive myself? Evra was greener than normal at the sight as I untied him. His eyes turned red as he looked at me.

"How could you Darren? She wasn't the monster you were!" Evra climbed up the grid and left me with the bloodthirsty Vampaneze and motionless vampire. There was still a little life left in him so he pulled me closer and whispered words in my ear.

"I…I am sorry I could not be a father to you. I am sorry I have ruined your life. Forgive me Darren." Then his head fell and he was gone. I pleaded for the Vampaneze not to eat him but he only laughed.

"Look, little vampire all alone," That was the third time he had said the 'look, little vampire' phrase and it was already annoying me. "I was never going to eat him; I hate the taste of vampire. It's also bad for my cholesterol level." I spent about 15 minutes with his cold, dead body then raised myself out of the sewers and sat in the winter cold. I wondered if Debbie was still here and if she were had she moved on. I couldn't think for long though because a voice came from behind me.

"Dude, why d'ya say that stuff?" I shrugged and looked at a puzzled Evra. He had recovered now and no longer felt queasy anymore. "Look, it'll get easier trust me." I started to sob again but forced out some words.

"My last words were I _wouldn't care if you died right now _and_ I hate you. _I wish I could go back Evra and if I could then I wouldn't have said it. If I hadn't said it Crepsley would be here right now with us." Evra pulled an arm around me and sat with me for a while. Realising the time, he stood up and offered a hand. Taking it I hauled myself up and looked at the window of Debbie's old house. Quietly sighing, I muttered under my breath.

"Debbie Hemlock, where are you now? I couldn't stay with you and have an easy life could I, that's just to easy." Looking at Evra who was about four meters in front I ran after him. I was now missing two people who I would give up my life for. Debbie and Crepsley but it was too late to go back. I couldn't go back to her; I had left her without saying a thing so undoubtedly she wouldn't take me back. All I could do now was look to the future; I had done enough of looking back and had to avenge Crepsley.

"What are you going to do now?" Evra asked with a raised

"Better you don't know." With that we walked into the darkness of the night, Darren Shan and Evra Von, Vampire and Snake-boy, partners in crime, ready to avenge their friend.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

A/N: So there you go, please R&R to tell me what you thought.


	4. Reminders of you

DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to Cirque du freak.

A/N: There is a death in a chapter. Sorry but wait until the later chapter and you will see why. This chapter is in Darren's point of view.

TITLE: With or without you

SUMMARY: Darren wakes up one morning to find Mr Crepsley and Evra gone and he is all alone. Realising he has to go and find them before it's too late, he sets out all alone, meeting some people who can change his destiny along the way. Will he find them before it's too late and run his life as normal?

~CiRqUe Du FrEaK~

Chapter 4- Reminders of you

Four months since his death and it still didn't get any easier. I had my friends to comfort me but it wasn't the same as his lectures. _Darren, vampires do not slouch. Darren, I am a vampire I do not feed at subway and neither should you eat at grease traps, Darren stop hanging from trees you are not a monkey though you act like one._ Annoying yes but I missed them all the same and the more I reminisced, the more painful it got. I looked around the cirque and everything seemed to remind me of him. I saw his coffin being hauled away, Madam Octa in her cage, Loaf head talking about him. It never got easier. Mr Tall came and sat with me for a while as I was sitting on a log by myself.

"Hibernius, when will it get easier?" I looked up at him as he shook his head slowly.

"I do not think it will." Even his perfect English reminded me of him! Obviously I needed time alone so took a break from the cirque scene and wondered round the woods for a few hours. The hours seemed like days but I couldn't handle going back yet. Even when he had been dying on the floor, his words spluttering out of his mouth, he had still talked in perfect English.

"How could I have signed his death warrant? He was my mentor for Christ's sake, I betrayed him…murdered him!" It didn't bare thinking about and I felt guiltier as the minutes passed by. At about eight o'clock, I headed back to the cirque and climbed into bed. Snuggling up into the covers, I remembered my mentor. Good old Larten Crepsley, the stupid old sod. I hardly slept that night, had nightmares about his death and how I could've stopped it. Evra woke in the middle of the night and we talked till about four o'clock then I finally drifted off to sleep. I woke at about eleven o'clock in the morning. I never got up that late but considering what time I went to sleep I think it was okay. Evra woke after me and calmed me down a little. (I should explain, since his death I had been throwing mood swings in a morning. Dunno why it just happens sometimes).

"It'll get easier man just give it time." I turned to look at Evra's smiling face but it didn't make the situation any better or easier. I tried everything possible to make me forget but I couldn't. That fateful night still hung in my mind and I couldn't let it go, no matter how hard I tried. Everyday I'd carry on my life as normal, as if it didn't happen and he was still sleeping in his coffin soundly but he wasn't. I had murdered him and there was nothing I could do about it. Months passed and I continued to live my life and his for him. I figured that if I couldn't see him, I could keep his memories alive through me. My eyes fluttered open one morning and all I could see was fuzz. I had forgotten for a moment why I felt so miserable then it dawned on me. Carefully tip-toeing to the door of the tent so as not to wake Evra, I stepped outside into the early morning air. It was still dark and absolutely freezing but I didn't care. A voice came from behind me and I practically jumped out of my own skin.

"A young vampire like you could catch a cold out here." I recognised it but couldn't find it in my mind. Who was he? Reality struck me as I stared at the dark figure with a stoned expression. I hadn't slept much so I looked a little worse for wear lately. I ran to the figure and pulled down the hood. "Do you mind Master Shan; I would like to keep it up thank you. I will be going soon so I cannot stay for long." I looked at him for a moment and tried to bring forward my memories but he just fixed the hood back on his head. It had been almost five months now since I had last seen him; his _dead _body sprawled on the floor.

"I…I don't understand Larten, I saw you lying there dead, motionless, in a pool of your own blood." My voice was quiet and confused along side his.

"Yes, indeed you did see all of that but Darren, those few extra centimetres make all of the difference. And it is Mr Crepsley to you." I didn't understand him and the more I thought about it, the more confused I grew.

"What?" I finally said after a long awkward silence.

"He had a bad aim and missed my heart. I faked my death so that he wouldn't come looking for me. I am heading for Vampire Mountain now to explain to Seba that I am not actually dead. I would rather not be dropped on stakes." I wrapped my arms around the vampire's waist and hugged him tightly. The vampire smiled secretly to himself and pulled my arms from round him.

"They couldn't kill you if you didn't go could hey?" He smiled at me as I smiled back.

"You would be surprised; they could kill you for many things." He left it at that. I had seen the hall of death and the guardians of blood, I didn't want to see it again at my mentor's death.

"Don't leave me again. Please Mr Crepsley I need you more than I thought I did. Please dad!" Why the hell had I just said that? The words just slipped out of my mouth by accident, he was sure to leave now.

"Listen son, how about I tuck you into your coffin and read you a little bed time story?"

"Really?"

"No. Darren, let us pretend that never happened okay? Now I am going to go and find my spider then I am leaving."

"But Mr Crepsley…"

"I am a vampire, I am not your father, I do not read bedtime stories, I do not hug and I am only going to Vampire Mountain."

"Well can I come?" Crepsley gave me an indifferent look and sighed again.

"Fine, I suppose you can come with me. Hurry up and get changed."

"Why?" I asked him seriously.

"You cannot turn up at Vampire Mountain dressed in some Pikachu pyjamas. It is embarrassing showing up in front of the vampire princes and generals with you dressed like that. They do not even know that you have been blooded yet, I doubt that they would be best pleased after seeing you like that. Now go on we have not got all evening."

"Okay just let me pack. Hold on a sec okay." Mr Crepsley frowned and poked his head round the corner of my tent door frame.

"Pack? What in the world are you taking? We are only popping in then coming back." I smiled at him before throwing a small suitcase on to the bed.

"Some aftershave, spare clothes, clean underwear, Nintendo, Nintendo charger, travel plugs…"

"Travel plugs? Darren really there is no need to take all of that."

"Why? I may get bored." He rolled his eyes, sat down outside my tent on the floor and crossed his legs beneath me.

"There is no time for you to get bored and I doubt that they will have places to plug in travel plugs. Now come on we have to go." I slammed the lid of the suitcase shut and hauled it of the bed. It was weird; it was like I was running away with Mr Crepsley, EW. We headed of for Vampire Mountain, me still wearing my Pikachu pjs and him in the red suit he wore when he _died_ all those months ago.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

A/N: So there you go, please R&R to tell me what you thought.


	5. What's wrong with Pikachu pyjamas?

DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to Cirque du freak.

A/N: There is a death in a chapter. Sorry but wait until the later chapter and you will see why.

This chapter is in Darren's point of view.

This is also the last chapter and thank you for all of your reviews so far.

TITLE: With or without you

SUMMARY: Darren wakes up one morning to find Mr Crepsley and Evra gone and he is all alone. Realising he has to go and find them before it's too late, he sets out all alone, meeting some people who can change his destiny along the way. Will he find them before it's too late and run his life as normal?

~CiRqUe Du FrEaK~

Chapter 5- What's wrong with Pikachu pyjamas?

"Darren, you were meant to change." I looked at and offered a wide grin.

"Its night time, they'll understand that I was sleeping. Besides, what's wrong with Pikachu pyjamas?" Mr Crepsley rolled his eyes at my comment as I realised what I had just said.

"You are a vampire now, you are meant to be awake at night and sleeping in the day. So no they will not understand because if you are going to wear Pikachu pyjamas, you should be wearing them during the day time. Plus, they are embarrassing and… are they an all in one?" I smiled at him and nodded then continued to walk in front.

"Well it's too late to go back so they'll just have to understand won't they. Why can't we flit to Vampire Mountain?" I asked him whilst kicking a branch. He stopped the tumbling branch, picked it up and threw it. I didn't know where it went it just sort of disappeared into the night.

"It was getting on my nerves and we cannot flit to the mountain because it just is not done. We are not allowed to we have to walk." My eyes popped out of their sockets at the thought of walking there, obviously not literally because if they did come out of their sockets, I would bleed to death.

"We have to walk there! Can you not carry me there?" He turned to look at me and puckered a brow.

"If you are just going to complain, maybe you should go home." I fell silent at the threat and said nothing after that until we were about seven miles away from the cirque.

"Are we there yet?" He said nothing and just continued to walk on. I took that as a no but a plain and simple 'no we are not there yet' would've done the trick.

"We are about one or two months away from here I would say." He said looking up at the sky. "We should rest, it is getting daylight." Agreeing we entered a small cave and set up camp there. I pulled two blankets from my suitcase and made a pillow with one, covering myself with the other. Mr Crepsley had a fold-away coffin with him so he was protected from sunlight and wouldn't sizzle up though right now; I kinda wanted him to because he was getting on my nerves. We slept for about twelve hours until night fell then continued. I was folding up my blankets and stuffing them into the suitcase while he folded away his coffin bit by bit. When we were finally ready we hit the road and continued walking. I was still tired and my legs were aching like mad but I didn't complain because he would only tell me off again.

"When will we arrive?" He smiled at me (which was unusual) and answered my question.

"Hmm, this time next moth, give or take a few days." I was shocked but didn't say anything and just kept quiet. "Joking, if we keep travelling like this with only a few rest stops, we should reach there in maybe three weeks if were quick walkers." I nodded but that wasn't much better. Three weeks was a long time for a half-vampire like me to walk and he decided to joke at a time like this? He never joked around with me because he said that it was pointless. Our location at that moment wasn't the best for food and I still was unsure about drinking blood but I had to so we eventually found a passerby and fed a little before continuing our journey. Weeks passed and we finally reached Vampire Mountain. I didn't know what they'd do to Mr Crepsley when he told them but I had a feeling it wasn't good. He had faked his death _again _and hadn't told anyone hadn't he?

"What will they do to you when they find out you lied?" He shrugged simply and clambered up to the mountain. I followed behind and asked what they usually did to liars.

"Throw into pits of burning stakes, make them suffer or let them go with warnings not to do it again and a slap on the wrists." Okay, I knew that last one was a joke…or was it? I looked up at him and sighed.

"What do you think they'll do to you?" I asked quietly so no one except him could hear me.

"I do not know master Shan, maybe they will kill me or maybe they will let me go. I will not know until I get there and I will never get there if you keep talking so…shh." Shutting my mouth I followed him up the mountain edges. They were crumbling and unsafe but it didn't seem to worry him as much as it did me. We reached the top and Crepsley walked in. I waited outside for him, throwing stones over the edge. He disappeared deep inside the mountain and for a minute, I thought that he'd fallen off the edge. I am unsure why I threw stones because it reminded me of how high up I was. Ten minutes later Crepsley walked put and told me to go home, back to the safety of the cirque.

"Ok, let's go." I said, cheerful that we were finally leaving. It was chilly up there and spooky to. I was just about ready to crap myself.

"No Darren you go I have to stay here. I'll be back later promise." I nodded and began to walk down.

"Can I flit back?" I asked him with hopeful eyes.

"I think so yes but do not tell anyone I told you to." I smiled and flitted back down the mountain. I had never imagined Crepsley as a 'rebel' vampire. It was the next day when I had finally reached the cirque and Evra welcomed me back.

"Hey buddy, back already? Where's Mr C?" He asked me curiously.

"He isn't back yet; he had to stay a little longer." He nodded before looking at me happily. "So you came back on your own?" I nodded confidently and opened the door to my tent. "Nice PJs dude." He chuckled when he saw them and then took the suitcase off me.

"Yeah I know." I looked down at them embarrassed and blushed. "I should get some new ones." Unpacking my suitcase I pondered Mr Crepsley's whereabouts then closed it and threw the suitcase under the bed at the far end of the tent. A week passed and still no Mr Crepsley. I was starting to worry, more than I thought I would. Maybe I did care; maybe I was scared for him. I didn't know how I felt then, I just sat down outside and ate my stew.

"Darren, have you seen Larten?" Madame Truska's voice was hurried and as I shook my head she put hers in her hands. "Oh no, oh no, no, no!" I looked at her puzzled and dazed. "Why isn't he back yet?"

"I dunno I left without him because he told me to." She turned red with fury.

"You left without him!" I nodded sheepishly as she walked away in resentment. Then it dawned on me and his words played in my mind over and over like a stuck record. '_Maybe they will kill me, maybe they will let me go, maybe they will kill me, maybe they will let me go' _over and over in my head. I felt dizzy and sick at the thought. They had done hadn't they? He could be lying on a bed of flaming stakes while I'm eating stew! Then a voice came from behind me.

"Yes, you are eating stew." I jumped and swivelled round. "Darren, the Pikachu pyjamas again?" He sighed in exasperation as I stared at his towering body. I giggled then remembered hoe much he hated the pyjamas.

"What's wrong with Pikachu pyjamas?" I wined whilst offering him some stew.

A/N: There you go. Please tell me your thoughts on this chapter. Oh and in reviews, put what you want to happen in the next chapter. Thank you xxx


	6. Promises We Can't keep

DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to Cirque du freak.

A/N: There is a death in a chapter. Sorry but wait until the later chapter and you will see why.

This chapter is in Darren's point of view.

This is also the last chapter and thank you for all of your reviews so far.

TITLE: With or without you

SUMMARY: Darren wakes up one morning to find Mr Crepsley and Evra gone and he is all alone. Realising he has to go and find them before it's too late, he sets out all alone, meeting some people who can change his destiny along the way. Will he find them before it's too late and run his life as normal?

~CiRqUe Du FrEaK~

Chapter 6- Promises we can't keep 

He took the stew and began to eat when I looked down at my pyjamas. Maybe they were a little… childish. I didn't feel as superior as I did in them before. If anything I felt…stupid. I looked stupid and I heard muffled giggles as people saw them. They were part of me now and I couldn't get rid of them. I was keeping them weather Mr Crepsley liked them or not and I don't know why he was so bothered. They weren't his pyjamas; they were mine and always would be. I had kept them a secret from him but my cover was blown when he walked in and they were lying on the floor as I had just changed. I tried disguising them as Evra's but he didn't believe me.

"Darren? Come on we need to train, I am expecting company tonight." I was back in my tent at this point with Evra Von, my best friend. I raised an eyebrow at the smirking snake-boy and pulled the door open, kicking the pyjamas to one side as I did.

"Can I help you Mr Crepsley?" I asked in a hysterically funny voice. He looked at me with cynical, unimpressed eyes and dragged me out of the door. "Mr C. I've been wondering and can I miss training tonight?" He shook his head and grasped my arm tighter. "Ow, you're hurting me Mr Crepsley." I wined as his grip almost broke my arm.

"Get over it! I have an important meeting tonight and it will decide your fate so I suggest that you train and I will ponder over there." He pointed to a log as I nodded in fear and headed for a stream. The water flowed slowly and the worst that would happen was I got wet. There was a narrow plank of wood laid over it and I edged my way across it. I had fallen in twice when Mr Crepsley came by and handed me a piece of black cloth.

"Oh thanks Mr Crepsley." I gasped as I dried my face with the soft fabric. He rolled his eyes then snatched it off me and wringed it out. "Hey, totally rude Mr Crepsley." I grumbled as he forced a smile on to his face.

"This goes over your eyes. I want you to cross that plank with your senses of touch and smell alone. You may not see anything." He tied it tightly around my head as I winced at the pain. I felt like he had cut the blood off in my head and it felt like a balloon. "Is that too tight?"

"Uha." I whispered as he loosened it slightly.

"Better?" He asked, adjusting it at the back.

"Much thank you. You sure can tie tight knots." I said, my eyes still covered with the blindfold. Then he guided me to the beginning of the plank and I leapt on. Then I started to the other side. Placing one foot after the other, I tumbled into the lake and landed with a splash. As I flailed around in the freezing water, Mr Crepsley walked over and dragged me out. "Mr Crepsley, did I make it?" I asked, staring up at him as I lay on the floor.

"No, you fell in but we have no time for you to practise now. Come, we must go to my tent to prepare." I nodded and followed him, water dripping behind me. It was a very short training session and I questioned the point of it.

"Who's visiting you?" I asked, actually interested in the answer I would receive. My Crepsley hardly got visitors and it was a nice change to have him out of my hair for a while so that I could hang out with Evra. We were like brothers now and wherever the snake- boy went, I did to. But don't worry; I'm not a stalker or a crazed being. It just happened and we well enjoyed each other's company. Basically, we were inseparable and when Evra was close to death in the tunnels, I was heartbroken. I had almost lost the two most important people in my life and it hurt more than ever. It reminded me of the time he had been taken and had scales hacked off him. It was horrible seeing him cry and I tried my hardest to make everything better. I was meant to be the tough one who would always be there for him but recently, I'd found out that life's not like that.

"Someone, just be quiet and try to make a good first impression. He has travelled here especially for us and will face a long journey back home when he is finished." I didn't like the word us. It meant that I'd have to be there and I was planning to spend my night at mine and Evra's movie night. We had it once every Friday night and yep, today was Friday. When we got to the tent, there was a man sat on a chest wearing a red cape. I had never seen him before and he was a little creepy.

"Larten, it has been a while." He said in a chirpy voice. Mr Crepsley smiled at him and shook the other man's hand. I was shocked at this. I had never seen Mr Crepsley so jolly and it was well…unusual to see.

"Seba, long time no see. How long has it been now?"

"Oh, eight years at least. You do know that Darren has to be presented soon to the princes?" He shook his head sadly as I frowned. I thought they were role playing for a minute and was confused with all the talk of princes. "This must be Darren here. Hello Master Shan, I am Seba Nile and I was Larten's mentor when he was young like you." He shook my hand harshly and smiled. I couldn't imagine Mr Crepsley being young. It was a strange sight when I tried to picture it and found it really difficult to imagine when I pictured it in my mind. I liked being called Master Shan. It made me feel important and regal.

"I know that he must be presented and I know that Paris, Mika and Arrow will be less than pleased but I will deal with that when it comes around. Right now I am focusing on training Darren and preparing him for the worst. If they threaten to kill Darren, I will remind them that it was my idea to blood him and that he should not be held responsible. I will deal with the consequences afterwards." He whispered, hoping that I wouldn't hear him. I did though and froze in fear. When he turned me into a half- vampire, he never mentioned that I'd have to be presented to royalty.

"Who are Paris, Mika and Arrow?" I asked, alarmed but intrigued.

"Paris Skyle is the oldest Vampire prince, Mika Ver Leth is another prince and Arrow is the last prince. You will be introduced when you go to the mountain. They are highly respected and to disrespect them is a terrible sin. The vampire generals obey the princes, we vampires obey the generals. You will understand when you are told to be presented by Larten." He grinned as I smiled back. He seemed nice when he wasn't talking about death and I quite enjoyed talking to him. He pulled Mr Crepsley to one side and left me to stare at the ever interesting blank wall. "Do not tell me that you have not told him about the mountain and the princes." He hissed at Mr Crepsley with anger. He was genuinely disappointed with him and had expected more from his assistant.

"Well, it never came up." Mr Crepsley said in an unusually high pitched voice. Seba calmed down and wished me well. Then turned to Mr Crepsley, still with annoyance.

"Goodbye Larten, I will see you at the mountain hopefully soon. This may be the last time I see you." He grimaced and disappeared out of the tent.

"I know that I could die soon. I overheard and I have one question, why did you blood me? Why not someone older?" Mr Crepsley sighed and guided me out of the tent.

"I am sorry Darren that I might have ended your life so young but I had to blood you because… well… it is a long story and I will explain soon I promise." He smiled at me and I felt as though I was talking to my father. He squeezed my shoulder as I smiled sweetly at him.

"It's okay and I won't leave you Mr Crepsley. I promise." I sighed and smiled back. He then frowned and pulled his cape around his shoulders, still holding onto my shoulder.

"Let's not make promises we cannot keep." With that he let go and vanished into the darkness.

**A/N: Well, another chapter for you. Keep reviewing and reading. Next chapter soon I hope. Thank you so, so much for your reviews so far. ^-^ **


	7. Memories that fail to fade

DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to Cirque du freak.

A/N: Darren's POV

TITLE: With or without you

SUMMARY: Darren wakes up one morning to find Mr Crepsley and Evra gone and he is all alone. Realising he has to go and find them before it's too late, he sets out all alone, meeting some people who can change his destiny along the way. Will he find them before it's too late and run his life as normal?

~CiRqUe Du FrEaK ~

Chapter 7- **Memories that fail to fade **

Morning came too quickly and as I sat up, an odd notion churned in my stomach. "Darren," a sweet, recognisable voice came from behind me. Tipping my head up I saw her. Her purple eyes, her beautiful long black hair and her slightly tinted skin, Ophelia, it was really her.

"O-Ophelia is that you?" I asked shakily wondering how she found me.

"It is, Darren I came here because they found out about my betrayal and well…" I cut her off with my annoyed sigh and angered tone.

"No, no Ophelia I saw what us did before and I… What?" I asked as she shook her head and her hair lapsed over her face.

"No Darren, I'm not asking you to help me or for us to become again I have something to tell you. Tomorrow I face the stakes and I face death full on. I just wanted to say goodbye and that was it."

"I thought only vampires did the stake thing." I remarked, numerous thoughts spinning in my head as I wished I hadn't left her in those tunnels.

"No, sadly Vampaneze do as well and this I suppose is a formal goodbye. Thank you for the times we shared they were truly amazing and I'll never forget them. Thank you." She kissed my forehead and smiled that smile I had wanted to see for so long. Floods of emotion ran over me as I listened to my ex-girlfriend's death wish. "Darren, I just wish we could've been something."

"It simply wasn't allowed but otherwise I think it'd have been great. You truly were remarkable."

"I wasn't the only one." I smiled and pulled her into my arms for one last moment. She would die soon and I was honoured that I was one of the last to see her before her brutal murder…unless there was a way to stop it. "Hey, Phi there has to be a way to stop it… a loophole." Hope laced my words as my heart reminded me of the true answer that I secretly knew deep down.

"No, it's over. Goodbye Darren I'll never forget you. Thank you for everything and I just wanted to say bye."

"Wait, duh-don't go… yet. You'll have plenty of time if you leave tomorrow but I want the last time I see you to be memorable. Will you stay here with me?" I asked, realising soon after that my words made me sound desperate.

"Of course I will." I smiled sweetly as she nodded and pulled me into her arms. My stomach churned at the thought of her death. What a horrific way to die and I couldn't sit back and watch.

"Ophelia, I'm going to stop it."

"Darren, they're going to shatter you. They can break all your bones in seconds and I can't take that risk."

"But I don't want you to die, I love you Phi and I won't stop until I know you're safe. I'll either save you…or die trying." An air of silence hung in the tent as she stood up and sighed.

"I don't know how you're going to do it though, I die tomorrow."

**To Be Continued… :o **

**A/N: **Sorry for the wait but I've been stuck on this one. Please review and I'll post up next chapter soon.


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